the post accident story

Facebook ask me:

What’s happening, L*****?

Then i said:

Oh nothing much, just got into accident yesterday. Still breathing though. Alhamdulillah.

The invisible knife that hurt story

Words can be so mean. It cut really deep, people can get hurt and the wound is deeper than knife. In each word, it cut deeper and deeper, then it will bleed and bleed. Nothing could stop it afterwards. Even after it has stop bleeding, it will left a scar. Huge scar. Its not visible, but its always there. Its like an old wound, which doesn't hurt, but when it rains or during cold days, u could feel the poison seeping thru your veins.

Please, mind your word. Else, you will regret it later.

The chilly nite story

Tonite i got less work. Well, everynite also i dont have much work, unless if i didnt do it early then i will pile up causing me to call it too many work. Heheh.

Well back to the story. Its a chilly nite, its been raining everyday now here in KL and Putrajaya area. The rain will start in the evening and wont stop until dawn. Its a nice weather, cool and refreshing. It kind of clear ur minds, and let u think of all the wonderfull stories.

Tonite, i got in touch with one of my closest friend. She was kinda in the middle of something, so i texted once and she replied the next hour. Haha. It was still a good conversation tho. Not much shared, but its nice to know that she is well.

Our friendship is one of a kind. I think she understand me in a way that only a few people can. She is very different from me, yet i confide in her most of my secrets. She doesnt judge, and she give the best advise. And i think i understand her too, in a way that cant be explained as well. The decision that she made, the path that she choose, i understand all about it.

She is very special to me, and i hope i am her special friend to. Wahhh cheesy, but then its true.

The relationship story

I wonder how people stay in a relationship. Do they fight each day? What do they talk about each day? Do they say i love each day?

What is a perfect relationship, or maybe a healthy relationship?

The sentimental story

There is a side of me that people dont know. Too many stories inside me, and some of them want me to share it with them. It is not easy, to just simply bare out your soul to others. The story is part of me, all my secrets. Secured and safe.

The sorry story

I dont need much, all the thank you's and nice words. All i need is just the sorry, every now and then.

The driving story

Me and driving, we dont agree much nowadays. I always feel sleepy when im driving. Lack of sleep, or am i getting the disease?

The story of mumbles and rumbles

There are a lot of things running through my mind. I am in the state where i feel down and sorry for myself. I feel like ive been mistreated, and no one love me as much as i love them. Yes, thats me feeling sorry for myself.

There are a few words that keep replying in my head. Not a motivational words mind u, more like orang kecewa kind of words. I got no money, my family is far away, and i lost my pride. That is sad. But the thing is, i am the one who brought all this upon myself. Sendiri carik nahas. And not to forget, i broke people's heart. And i am not a good muslim. Poor me, poor Yaya.

the avenger story

The ave what? Come again? Oh the avenger? The movie tu kan? Ooh, quite okay I guess :P

Seriously, tatau nape cam biasa biasa je tengok The Avengers. Orang lain gile suka, macam macam full rating ada. Suma pasang niat nak tengok 2 kali, but me? Humm tengok sekali pun cukup kott, kalo tertengok kali kedua pun maybe sebab nak temankan membe lagi, and sebab Thor sahaja *smile*.

Me and Cik K, is soooo in love with Thor. Tade la cam admit cam ‘waahh Thor wah suka suka body buff ah suka!’ camtu. Kitorang cam wah Thor ni memang cam watak novel kan, big blond blue-eyed. Memang kalo tules novel terbayang orang cam Thor ni la kot. Eh suka suka je panggil Thor kan, name Chris. Tak kesah de, panggil Thor je la semua kenal kan :P. Both of us cam comel dia ni kan, dalam hati cam suka je nak tengok, rase nak tengok salu boleh? Hehe.

Well, tadi pun tengok Thor tak mandi :P. Tak patut betul gi jalan Alamanda tengok movie tak mandi. Well nak buat cane, plan asal nak gi beli ape je, tade sampai nak kene gi Alamanda. Last last termelencong ke Alamanda. Oh but it was fun. Okay kot. The movie was so- so only except for Thor. But the best watak in the movie would be The Hulk kot, played by Mark Ruffalo. He is sooo cool. The watak kinda suited him, or dia yang bring out the character really well.

Oh and weekend aritu, I headed to Melaka. And now I am sooooo in love with Melaka. Like seriously !! I love everything about Melaka !

the kura kura I found in Melaka. I had a thing for kura kura :P

Oh HRC ! tak masuk tapinye :P



Well. That is all la kot, tak amek sangat gambar scenery, amek gamba syok sendiri kat Jonker Street je. Anyone says that Melaka is hot and all, but I think Melaka is nice. I wouldnt mind kalo tetiap minggu nak kesana mambantu menaikkan ekonomi kat sane :P

the karmin + avenger story

This is more than a typical kinda thing
Felt the joints in my bones when you were touching me
Didn't want to take it slow
In a daze, going crazed, I can barely think
You're replaying in my brain, find it hard to sleep
Waiting for my phone to blow

Now i'm here in a sticky situation
Got a little trouble, yep and now I'm pacin'
Five minutes, ten minutes, now it's been an hour
Don't wanna think too hard, but I'm sour

Oh oh, I can't seem to let you go

See I've been waiting all day
For you to call me baby
So let's get up, let's get on it
Don't you leave me broken hearted tonight
Come on, that's right
Honest baby I'll do
Anything you want to
So can we finish what we started
Don't you leave me broken hearted tonight

What's the time, such a crime
Not a single word, sipping on that Patron
Just to calm my nerves
Poppin' bottles by the phone
Had me up, had me down, turn me inside out
That's enough, hold me up
Maybe I'm in doubt
Now don't even think you know

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The song of the day J

Today is Thursday, and tomorrow is Friday. Or course la kan, even budak sekolah rendah pun tahu. Lame Yaya lame. Biasa mood on Khamis ni semua okay je, belum malas lagi buat kerja sebab still ada esok untuk kerja, tapi mood dah kira lift up sikit la sebab dah tak lama nak weekend.

Hari ni mood tade la seronok pun, sebab ada kelas ujung minggu ni. Oh takottt, sebab assignment tak siap. Heheh. Malas pun ada jugak, yela, siapa je yang attend kelas ujung minggu? Hanya mereka mereka yang tiada life. Huahuahuahua. Tapi dengarnya minggu ni tade kelas, tatau betul ke tak. Last kelas aritu dah ponteng, tu yang info tak dapat tuh. Hehe. Oh nak sangat berharap kelas takde :P

Ok tukar channel sikit. Adalah sangat nak tengok Avenger. Dari last year lagi tunggu, sebab tak sabar nak tengok Thor *salivating*. Me and sorang kawan tu memang meleleh la nak tengok Thor lagi, gatai. Hehe. Tapi agak susah dah nak kuar dengan kawan tu. And the other person pun dah pegi tengok. Foine. Maybe takde jodoh dengan Thor kat cinema dah. Kita majuk je la, tunggu donlod je maybe :(.

The cry story

Menangis?! Taklah. Dah kering air mata dah.

the fly me to the moon story

People are different from one another. In some, what you see is what they are. In others, what you see is different from what they are inside. It doesn’t mean that it is bad though, it’s just that there are a few layers in the person. The very first time you see them, they might look garang. Once you’ve started befriend them, they are sweet and fun to be with. The more you know them, you might discover that they may not be tough at all, they are all soft and mushy inside. The more you know them, the more layers that you might discover. It doesn’t mean that they are pretending, it is just how they are. Complicated. Fragile. Broken. Or maybe, they are wired that way :P.

And they are some people who susah nak bagitau apa yang dia rasa. There are so many things holding them. Maybe jugak sebab they felt fragile. Or ego in some. But after they had past that stage, the limit, they will be no holding back for them. There will be no denying the feelings, no confusion.

This would be a sweet and honest way, to actually admit that you actually sayang someone.

Poets often use many words
To say a simple thing
But it takes thought and time and rhyme
To make a poem sing

With music and words I'll be playin'
For you, I have written a song
To be sure that you know what I'm sayin'
I'll translate as I go along

Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Won't you let me see what spring
Is like on Jupiter and Mars

In other words, hold my hand
In other words, darling, kiss me

Fill my heart with song
And let me sing forevermore
'Cause you are all I long for
All I worship and adore

In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you

C'mon, just take me to the moon and back

the 2012 resolution (eh baru nak resolution?!) story

And sooo I have decided.

2012 will be the year when I’ll go melancong everywhere !
its my travel year !

Good luck to me. Hew hew.

The deep and high story

The wound is too deep, the risk is too high.

The break story

Okay. Andai itu yang dipinta, itulah akan saya akan cuba tunaikan.

the *hening* story

Saya..adakah sangat sukakan suasana damai.

Saya sukakan kehijauan.

Saya suka padang rumput luas mata memandang.

Saya suka langit yang biru, awan yang putih bak kapas.

Saya suka rintik hujan, damai dan menenangkan.

Saya suka angin yang bertiup, kadang lalu menyampaikan rasa hati yang gundah.

Saya ingin, duduk duduk sahaja, menikmati alam.

the too fast too far story

Saya..yang telah terjatuh, too fast and too far.

Masih sempatkah untuk saya berpatah balik, atau ini memang jalannya?

the sweet talker story

Dulu saya pernah cakap, saya tak suka sweet talker nih. Oh sangat adalah tidak boleh dengan sweet talker, rasa cam geli geleman. Cakap la pape pun, rasa cam tak ikhlas je.

Tapiiiiii…kalo dah tiap tiap hari disogok dengan ayat yang manis manis je, cair jugak hati ini :P

Tapiiii jugak, nanti kalo manis manis sangat akan cepat muak nanti, ye dok?

the do i have a chart in my heart? story

This is supposed to be a sweet song, but somehow I felt sad L

~CARTA HATI~

Engkau duduk di situ

Diam tersipu malu

Mahu mendekati aku

Aku mulai resah

Hatiku jadi kebah

Melihat dirimu aku rebah

Tapi hati ini kuat menyatakan

Kau terkini duduk di carta hati

Lalu cinta kita bermula

Dari mata turun ke jiwa

Dari teman menjadi cinta

Dan berjanji untuk setia

Sehidup semati kita

Menjanjikan bahagia

Untuk kita berdua selamanya

Jangan engkau jangan pergi

Jangan tinggalku sendiri

Jangan tinggalkan carta hati

Kau janji akan bahagia

Ku janji kau takkan terluka

Teruslah berada di carta hati

~ Me, singing to myself. ~

the complaining story

The other day, I got one email from one colleague, whom I supervise over during the night. He just cc’ed me in the email, it was address to my Team Leader. It was nothing actually, but he did question my credibility as his so-called leader, which is me.

My leadership role is not like the management role. I have a different responsibility. I manage the documentation, the process, the ticketing system of the team. I do not dwell into the team’s attitude, their performance and all. I am all focus on the ticketing side. I questioned them when they didn’t follow the exact process of logging a case. I do sometimes monitor their lunch schedule. I am more into the knowledge of the team. I should understand and familiar with the products, and know the exact process. That is mostly what my responsibility is.

But last week, this guy started voicing out his opinion. I do not blame him. I only do what I was asked to do. True enough, maybe I should have check on the report, but the report was being pulled out from the system. I couldn’t just simple removed them out if they are redundant. But whatever. I don’t really mind. As long as you still respect me, and follow all the so called process, I am okay with it. I have also complained on others before. Everyone got to say what they think are not fair to them.

Dear God, please give me strength, to stand tall and to be able to manage all the responsibilities that were given to me.

On a different note, one of my classmate during my Degree year is getting engaged. Oh bestnya, siap ada invitation card okeh. Sure plan dari awal lagi ni. All siap dengam theme color. Oh I am so jealous. Agak la. How can she manage. Surely Mak Ayah dia tak masuk campur macam Mak Ayah I hari tu. And they sure have enough money to cover all the expenses. How I envy them.  And their invitation card is soooo comel okeh !

And one other thing, there is one other thing yang I nampak comel. Soooo comel infact, I tak boleh nak tak suka. Oh why la dunia why? Kenapa mestinya wujud bang yang comel dalam dunia ini?

the comel story

I am not comel, nor am I irresistible. I am not a great girl, nor am I fun to be with.

I am however a sweet person, and a reliable one. I am good at keeping secret, and I valued my friends the most.

I can be comel, irresistibly exciting and funny, and lotsa fun, when I am with person that I care the most.

the stalker story

Kerja malam malam memang sangat la boring. Amat lah bosan. Biarpun ada beratus documentation nak kena check, still perasaan boring tu tetap ada.

Dan disebabkan boring ditambah lagi suasana malam yang syahdu, perkara wajib buat sewaktu kerja malam adalah menstalk Facebook orang. Pastu mula la buat cerita dan konklusi sendiri T_T.

Click tukar channel sket. Lelaki, memang akan pandang rupa je ke? Some men are easy to fool nampak gaya. Ada pompuan cantik gedik gedik sket buat gaya innocent malu malu terus falls on their feet ye. Come on, be a man la.

the dr phil story

Sometimes it feels good to ramble about nothing at all. Not that I am the type of person who loves to talk on and on, but occasionally and with people whom I am comfortable with, I can just talk non stop about anything and everything. True, not all the people love it when I am rambling. most of the times kalo ramble to memang ramble sendiri sendiri je, the person yang you ramble on tu tak se-excited as you are pun. Ye la, nama pun rambling kan, ofkos la whatever you said don’t make sense at all. I notice we people have some sort of special ability, where you can just tuned the sounds out when you are not interested in whatever people are saying to you. I do that sometimes, so I don’t blame people if they power up their special ability during my rambling time.

So most of the time, bila sampai masa nak mempot pet, I will just pot pet it with my inner self. Cakap sensorang je :P. and some of the times, it feels good just to pour it out, not to anyone in particular, but not to yourself jugak. Hence, the blog. One of the few reason why I blog. Just to rambles. Hehe.

Being a human being, sometimes you do have a lot that you have to think for yourself, then you tend to saw other’s problems, difficulties or dilemmas as a simple issue, not as important as yours. You may call it penting kan diri sendiri, but it is the way it goes. Memang patut pentingkan diri sendiri ni sometimes. Ye la, nak pikir masalah orang len, masalah kita sape nak pikirkan ye dak? Although terkadang kita perlu menjadi seseorang yang boleh mendengar. Not to think or give resolution, just to hear them out. Some people doesn’t need resolution, they just want to know that you listen and you care about them.

Well move to another storyyyyy. As anywhere in the world, in my workplace, there is one girl. No no no, ini bukan kisah one girl met one boy then they fall in lurve. Bukan bukan bukan. One girl, who caused havoc to all other, and whom is hated by all other. HATED, as in capital hated. What she had  done (banyak benda dah dia buat) was soooo bad, semua yang buruk buruk tu ye la tu. Pandai main politik, pandai kipas boss. That is the worst thing that someone can do, and surely all people will hate her/him. Ye la, kalau dah pandai kipas boss tu, tau tau sendiri le, bukan jenis yang rajin buat keje ke ape ke. Keje semua hampeh je. Teamwork takde. Tak respect sesame kita officemate ni. All leads to negative thing la.

Ok, back to the story. So all my workmates mengadu pasal dia. All makan hati sebab dia. Boss memang dah taleh buat ape (kitorang nye Team Leader sokong kitorang, memang tak makan butter yg minah ni try to feed him :P), sebab minah ni tatau la, jenis hati kering kot. Dah a fewtimes masuk one to one session ngan TL ni, tapi hampeh. Tapi minah ni jarang kenakan yours truly ni, sebab shift kitorang pun dah lain lain, and it sooo happens I got a bit authority over her. So, disebabkan agak tensen dan kesian mendegar cerita mereka yang mengadu, so I pun buat la something. As said, as I got a lil’ authority over her, jadinye I sent one email to her, and to few others  jugak, secara subtle je menegur dia on how she suppose to carry out one designated task. Not a sarcastic email, more like a warning email. Its like ‘this is a heads up email, to remind you that all your doings are under my supervision, so please don’t try to ngelat2, I akan tau, so aware ya before i catch you’ kind of email.

And after I shoot off the email, I feel nice. Macam I dah buat sesuatu, instead of just listening to them complaining at least I take action on it, even if it is a simple one.  But I know, me sending the email won’t affect her much, but still at least she knows that us leader didn’t just simply receive the report. We do analyze it and we do notice any ngelat-ing that you do.  You can change a person, maybe they are wired that way. But instead of having to let me walk over your head, you can try to ngelat in your own way also. Its not like you do not have hak as she does. Its all falls under how you would see the person, and how to react or waltz around their personality.  Kalau dah orang nya jenis bodoh camtu, kita pun tayah nak gaduh gaduh tensen2 sampai boss tau. Boss ofkos la bela dia, dah nama pun ejen kipas boss. Gaduh gaduh tensen pun kita jugak yang susah hati tade mood nak datang keje. So by accepting and understand her way, we can somehow lower our expectation, and gracefully find out way out through any mess that she caused you.

True, saying is easier than actually doing it, tapi dengan komplen je and tensen tensen sensorang, it won’t resolve anything.  You have a great job with all the great prospects, don’t let one stupid person affects your whole work life. Most of our time we spend at the office, paling tak pun 9 jam sehari termasuk lunch time, so why don’t you make it worth your while?

Nah sekian lah ceramah Dr Phil versi CikYaya. A reminder to all of us, semoga setiap pekerjaan kita membawa keberkatan J